A young man is wandering, lost, in a forest when he comes upon a small

house. Knocking on the door he is greeted by an ancient Chinese man
with
a long gray beard.'I'm lost,' said the man. 'Can you put me up for the

night?'Certainly,' the Chinese man said, 'but on one condition. If you
so
much as lay a finger on my daughter I will inflict upon you the three
worst
Chinese tortures known to man'.
'OK,' said the man, thinking that the daughter must be pretty old as
well, and entered the house. Over dinner the daughter came down the
stairs. She was young, beautiful and had a fantastic body. She was
obviously attracted to the young man as she couldn't keep her eyes off
him
during the meal.Remembering the old man's warning he ignored her and
went
up to bed alone.During the night he could bear it no longer and snuck
into
her room for a night of passion. He was careful to keep everything
quiet so
the old man wouldn't hear and, near dawn, he crept back to his room,
exhausted but happy.
He woke to feel a pressure on his chest. Opening his eyes he saw a
Large
rock on his chest with a note on it that read,'Chinese Torture 1:Large
rock
on chest.''Well, that's pretty crappy,' he thought. 'If that's the
best the
old man can do then I don't have much to worry about.'He picked the
boulder
up, walked over to the window and threw
the boulder out.As he did so, he noticed another note on it that read:
'Chinese Torture 2: Rock tied to left testicle.'In a panic he glanced
down
and saw the rope that was already getting close to taut. Figuring that
a few
broken bones was better than castration he jumped out of the window
after
the boulder.As he plummeted towards the ground he saw a large sign on
the
ground that read,'Chinese Torture 3: Right testicle tied to bed post.'