Courtesy of hipcat.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/humour.htm
[Yes, these quotes are based on those of Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf the Iraqi Information Minister. This page does not approve or disapprove of the Iraq War. We seek to do nothing but hijack the quotes of Comical Ali.] Next time a Chaos player tells you how well they are doing, just reply with on of these...
"We have destroyed 2 tanks, a defiler, 2 land speeders and their shovels - We have driven them back."
"The Emperor will roast their stomachs in the Warp at the hands of Imperials."
"The Planet Killer and Triad is all about lies! All they tell is lies, lies and more lies!"
"The Dark Eldar is not worth an old shoe"
"The force that was in Cadia, this force was destroyed."
"We will kill them all........most of them."
"There are no Chaos infidels in Cadia. Never!"
"We are not afraid of the Chaos Marines. The Emperor has condemned them. They are stupid. They are stupid" (dramatic pause) "and they are condemned."
"The Lost and the Damned, they always depend on a method what I call ... stupid, silly. All I ask is check yourself."
"I can say, and I am responsible for what I am saying, that they have started to commit suicide under the pylons of Cadia. We will encourage them to commit more suicides quickly."
"Lying is forbidden in the Emperor's glorious realm. The Emperor will tolerate nothing but truthfulness as he is a man of great honor and integrity. Everyone is encouraged to speak freely of the truths evidenced in their eyes and hearts."
"I triple guarantee you, there are no Disorder soldiers in Imperial space."
"Abandon has thrown his soldiers on the fire"
"They're not even [within] 100 systems [of Cadia]. They are not in any place. They hold no place in Cadia. This is an illusion ... they are trying to sell to the others an illusion."
"They are nowhere near the Nemesis Sector ... they are lost in the warp ... they can not navigate it ... they are retarded."
"The traitors are committing suicide by the hundreds on the gates of Cadia. Be assured, Cadia is safe, protected."
"You can go and visit those places. Nothing there, nothing at all. There are Imperial Guard checkpoints. Everything is okay."
"They are retreating on all fronts. Their military effort is subject of laughter by the Eldar, the Tau, the Squats, the Hrud - by the whole galaxy.."
"Abandon, Typhus and Ahriman. They are the funny trio."
"We are winning!"
[Yes, these quotes are based on those of Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf the Iraqi Information Minister. This page does not approve or disapprove of the Iraq War. We seek to do nothing but hijack the quotes of Comical Ali.] Next time a Chaos player tells you how well they are doing, just reply with on of these...
"We have destroyed 2 tanks, a defiler, 2 land speeders and their shovels - We have driven them back."
"The Emperor will roast their stomachs in the Warp at the hands of Imperials."
"The Planet Killer and Triad is all about lies! All they tell is lies, lies and more lies!"
"The Dark Eldar is not worth an old shoe"
"The force that was in Cadia, this force was destroyed."
"We will kill them all........most of them."
"There are no Chaos infidels in Cadia. Never!"
"We are not afraid of the Chaos Marines. The Emperor has condemned them. They are stupid. They are stupid" (dramatic pause) "and they are condemned."
"The Lost and the Damned, they always depend on a method what I call ... stupid, silly. All I ask is check yourself."
"I can say, and I am responsible for what I am saying, that they have started to commit suicide under the pylons of Cadia. We will encourage them to commit more suicides quickly."
"Lying is forbidden in the Emperor's glorious realm. The Emperor will tolerate nothing but truthfulness as he is a man of great honor and integrity. Everyone is encouraged to speak freely of the truths evidenced in their eyes and hearts."
"I triple guarantee you, there are no Disorder soldiers in Imperial space."
"Abandon has thrown his soldiers on the fire"
"They're not even [within] 100 systems [of Cadia]. They are not in any place. They hold no place in Cadia. This is an illusion ... they are trying to sell to the others an illusion."
"They are nowhere near the Nemesis Sector ... they are lost in the warp ... they can not navigate it ... they are retarded."
"The traitors are committing suicide by the hundreds on the gates of Cadia. Be assured, Cadia is safe, protected."
"You can go and visit those places. Nothing there, nothing at all. There are Imperial Guard checkpoints. Everything is okay."
"They are retreating on all fronts. Their military effort is subject of laughter by the Eldar, the Tau, the Squats, the Hrud - by the whole galaxy.."
"Abandon, Typhus and Ahriman. They are the funny trio."
"We are winning!"
"Als Hans Hans anno 1935 im alpenländischen Raum den Delka-Schmetterling entdeckte, hatte er gar keine neue Nummerntafel, sondern nur ein schwarz-weißes Fahrrad ohne Licht"
